Things That Change

I’m sure anyone who has every gone from being in a relationship probably can relate but there are a lot of things about suddenly being a widow I never thought of before.  Things that would affect me in a way I never imagined.

1.  I can complete all my laundry in like 3 loads.  This is astonishing to me.  I can also do this after going 3 weeks without doing laundry.  How crazy pants is that?

2.  When I go looking for a clean dish or cup I have one and my sink is clean (most of the time).  This is even crazier because I only have 4 plates and 6 cups to my name (including coffee cups).

3 Taking care of two massive dogs can be more challenging.  I don’t have any back up when the boys are being jerks so there are times when I just send them to their corners for 15 minutes of quiet time and to settle.

4. I can have a carton of ice cream in my freezer for weeks before it’s gone.  I didn’t even know this was possible.

5. I bought scented drier sheets.  My sheets smell NICE.  Matt had seriously sensitive skin so everything was perfume and dye free.

6. I can light scented candles without criticism.  I can pick the scents i like and not worry if they are “stinky”.

There are lots of things I don’t like obviously.  I miss my best friend every day.  He had the kindest eyes (which he shared with his sister and his father) and the best smile and was a center of calm in my worst storms.  I hate how empty the house can feel about an hour before bedtime and all my midwest friends have gone to bed and I have no one to talk to.  My bed is empty and I still haven’t adapted to sleeping in the middle.  I have found ways to root out the happiness though.  There are still things that make me insanely happy and I’m trying to focus on them.  Sometimes I suceed and sometimes I fail but that is all in being human.  Whenever I start to get stressed or upset about something I try to remember that the worst thing has already happened, whatever follows is nothing compared to that and if I could get through losing my best friend and husband I can make just about anything happen.

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