I’m sure anyone who has every gone from being in a relationship probably can relate but there are a lot of things about suddenly being a widow I never thought of before. Things that would affect me in a way I never imagined.
1. I can complete all my laundry in like 3 loads. This is astonishing to me. I can also do this after going 3 weeks without doing laundry. How crazy pants is that?
2. When I go looking for a clean dish or cup I have one and my sink is clean (most of the time). This is even crazier because I only have 4 plates and 6 cups to my name (including coffee cups).
3 Taking care of two massive dogs can be more challenging. I don’t have any back up when the boys are being jerks so there are times when I just send them to their corners for 15 minutes of quiet time and to settle.
4. I can have a carton of ice cream in my freezer for weeks before it’s gone. I didn’t even know this was possible.
5. I bought scented drier sheets. My sheets smell NICE. Matt had seriously sensitive skin so everything was perfume and dye free.
6. I can light scented candles without criticism. I can pick the scents i like and not worry if they are “stinky”.
There are lots of things I don’t like obviously. I miss my best friend every day. He had the kindest eyes (which he shared with his sister and his father) and the best smile and was a center of calm in my worst storms. I hate how empty the house can feel about an hour before bedtime and all my midwest friends have gone to bed and I have no one to talk to. My bed is empty and I still haven’t adapted to sleeping in the middle. I have found ways to root out the happiness though. There are still things that make me insanely happy and I’m trying to focus on them. Sometimes I suceed and sometimes I fail but that is all in being human. Whenever I start to get stressed or upset about something I try to remember that the worst thing has already happened, whatever follows is nothing compared to that and if I could get through losing my best friend and husband I can make just about anything happen.