I don’t know how I really feel about writing this post. Part of me feels that it’s very private, part of me feels that it’s a way to help get on the road to mentally accepting this.
On Sunday March 2nd, 2014 my sweet, kind hearted, handsome, gentle, strong as a bear husband Matt passed away from testicular cancer. He was never sick, showed no signs, and was gone in 11 days. Urgent care had sent my husband home with a diagnosis of a cold when I was worried about his shortness of breath, when his memory disappeared I brought him to the ER who found that Matt had a collapsed lung and thought that he had pneumonia. He did not. 3 days later he was diagnosed with cancer, after that things went very quickly to surgery, and treatments, and chemo, then his heart failed and through CPR had brought him back he was on a ventilator and his kidneys were failing.
We had to make the hard decision to let him go in peace. It broke my heart into a million pieces.
It’s been a week now. I’m standing and I’m moving forward. I’ve sold my herd of sheep and goats, I’ll be moving into the city soon I hope, and I’m getting a handle on managing our bar. Keeping busy keeps me standing.
I have amazing family and amazing friends that have really helped me get through this. I’m not sure what the future holds, all I know is that I miss my husband and best friend and that I need to keep moving.